Weekly Words: "Time is Land for Tilling"

"One of the most important characteristics distinguishing man from all other forms of nature is his knowledge of transitoriness, of beginning and end, and therefore of the gift of time.

In man, transitory life attains its peak of animation, of soul power, so to speak. This does not mean man alone would have a soul. Soul quality pervades all beings. But man’s soul is most awake in his knowledge of the inter-changeability of the terms “existence” and “transitoriness.”

To man, time is given like a piece of land, as it were, entrusted to him for faithful tilling; a space in which to strive incessantly, achieve self-realization, move onward and upward. Yes, with the aid of time, man becomes capable of wresting the immortal from the mortal."

- Thomas Mann

On Noticing

I've been living in overdrive mode for the past few weeks. Between planning a wedding, working on my coaching certification, traveling, and moving, it's a wonder I've even had time to come up for air. So nothing took me by surprise more when I had a chance to take a leisurely walk one afternoon and ran smack dab into a blooming magnolia tree. The first thing that crossed my mind was..."when did that happen?" The second was a strong reminder that while I was busy, life was still ticking along beside me. The only thing missing? My attention.

So often we get caught up within ourselves and life that we forget the simple act of noticing. Noticing in its simplest form is both a skill and an art. It involves maintaining a general awareness of what is going on around you and paying attention to details that you might otherwise miss if you were just going through your day on cruise control. Noticing, however, makes living proactive. It helps you take a step back, intuitively know where to probe deeper, and bring a greater consciousness to decision-making.

In the workplace, the practice of noticing is invaluable. It allows us to see the whole picture, stay attuned to dynamics, and question things that might be misaligned with strategy or direction. In an article for the Harvard Business Review, Max Bazerman notes that in the business world today, "failure to 'notice' and take action can mean losing an important customer, getting edged out of a market, or even going to jail."

In our personal lives, noticing plays a similar role. It allows us to look and listen to ourselves, seeing every experience as a data point and a lesson to draw from when considering future moves. In his piece for The New York Times, David Brooks highlighted Dwight Eisenhower's humble recognition of his own terrible temper as an example of this type of self-confrontation. He noted that Eisenhower "did silly things to tame his anger. He took the names of the people he hated, wrote them down on slips of paper and tore them up and threw them in the garbage. Over a lifetime of self-confrontation, he developed a mature temperament. He made himself strong in his weakest places."

This type of self-work elevates us to a higher level of extreme noticing. Truly being right-here-right now is the foundation for being self-aware. Want to practice becoming a better noticer? Here are a few things that you can do to bring a greater sense of conscious noticing to your daily life:

• Practice empathy. An excellent way to start becoming a better "noticer" is to mentally remove yourself from a situation, and think about what might be important or how something might affect the other person. Doing so will help you be more conscious of social cues, become a better communicator, and allow you to act with compassion.
• Be enlightened. When posed with a question or an idea, allow yourself to consider a solution from every angle, even those that may not be the final answer. Maintain a sense of intellectual curiosity and tap into lessons learned so that your final decision is a holistic view of the big picture.
• Look inward. Really check in with yourself, even if it's for a few minutes a day. Those moments that you spend considering your thoughts and actions adds up over time, and help you build a more natural sense of noticing. In an interview with Krista Tippett, Seth Godin said, "the only way you get that discernment is by practicing. Is by saying, when I pick this am I right? When I put this in the world, did it resonate with the people I was trying to reach? And then, so then we get to the 10,000 hours and the whole notion that if you practiced noticing enough, you'll get good at it."

Weekly Words: "Become a Source of Light for All"

"The most important thing in life is your inner energy. If you’re always tired and never enthused, then life is no fun. But if you’re always inspired and filled with energy, then every minute of every day is an exciting experience. Learn to work with these things. Through meditation, through awareness and willful efforts, you can learn to keep your centers open. You do this by just relaxing and releasing. You do this by not buying into the concept that there is anything worth closing over. Remember, if you love life, nothing is worth closing over...

...The more you stay open, the more the energy flow can build. At some point, so much energy comes into you that it starts flowing out of you. You feel it as waves pouring off of you. You can actually feel it flowing off your hands, out your heart, and through other energy centers. All these energy centers open, and a tremendous amount of energy starts flowing out of you. What is more, the energy affects other people. People can pick up on your energy, and you’re feeding them with this flow. If you are willing to open even more, it never stops. You become a source of light for all those around you."

- Michael A. Singer

Sitting with Gratitude

When I was younger, I often found myself frustrated when things didn't go my way. I felt duped by what I couldn't actually control, and let down by how reality didn't seem to align with the high expectations that I set for myself. When I shared these feelings with my mother, she always reminded me to do the same thing: allow yourself to feel let down for a bit, but then work on moving on.

Sitting with emotions.

This activity always seemed like an interesting proposition. On one hand, it gives yourself permission to feel and allows yourself to explore the depths of angst or disappointment. On the other hand, it's a chance to practice letting go and learn how to shift your perspective towards newness and possibility. It allows us to actively manage how our thoughts affect our feelings, and therefore more consciously own those emotions. But something I hadn't considered until recently was sitting with the good feelings too.

We live in an age of not enough, where many people experience FOMO ("fear of missing out"), or are always in search of the bigger and better thing. So often, we spend time focusing on what's next that we forget to acknowledge what is now.

I found myself in a similar situation when I began to plan some activities to get involved and explore the communities in my still "new" city. I built a set of goals that would help propel me forward, expand my network, and help me continue to grow towards this awesome life that I've always imagined. The only issue? My free time was limited, and I was amidst some life changes. 

By probing deeper to understand what I really meant by "this awesome life that I've always imagined," I realized that to some extent, I was already living it. Sure, these goals were still something to actively explore, but it revealed that there was something else I needed to incorporate into my life: more gratitude.

Gratitude involves expressing appreciation for what you have. Exploring it can help boost your energy, encourage optimism, and even make you more successful in the long run.  Robert Emmons, a gratitude researcher at the University of California at Davis, also notes that simple exercises of gratitude add up over time, and incorporating it into daily habits can help encourage your overall sense of happiness and well-being. He notes that "once you get started, you find more and more things to be grateful for."

In the past, I've tried to practice gratitude on a daily basis. I've done gratitude journals, gratitude jars, and explored other methods of thanking myself, but then I closed the book or put the top back on the jar, never to explore those feelings again. So I brainstormed a bit, and came up with an idea on how to incorporate it into something I already do on a daily basis,

My challenge to myself? Three times a week, I will incorporate gratitude into my daily meditation. This is something that will allow me to continue making my twice-daily meditations a habit, and build a practice of gratitude towards the life that I am already living. My desired outcomes? Feeling more grounded, present, and proud of myself on a daily basis.

Interested in learning more? Here's how it works:

1.  The night before your meditation, spend some time thinking about what you are grateful for...right now. It could be something as simple as having a great phone call or eating a good meal. It could be as complex as finding a new place to live or accomplishing a big goal at work.
2. Write it down somewhere that will be easily accessible in the morning. For me this involves updating the subject line of a daily alarm I've set as a reminder to do my meditation. You could use a notebook or sticky note as well.
3. On the following day, or when you do your meditation, re-read your note of gratitude, and fully embody it while meditating. This could be by imagining the words in your mind's eye or chanting it as a mantra. It could be by using the feeling of gratitude to send warmth towards anything painful that you notice while scanning yourself in the moment.
4. Focus on how this feeling of gratitude resonates through your body.
5. Practice this type of gratitude a few times a week or whenever you need to reminder of what you're doing well in life. And take note of how this type of noticing and awareness feels, and if you find yourself being more present on a daily basis.

Weekly Words: "The Journey"

"Above the mountains
the geese turn into
the light again

Painting their
black silhouettes
on an open sky.

Sometimes everything
has to be
inscribed across
the heavens

so you can find
the one line
already written
inside you.

Sometimes it takes
a great sky
to find that

first, bright
and indescribable
wedge of freedom
in your own heart.

Sometimes with
the bones of the black
sticks left when the fire
has gone out

someone has written
something new
in the ashes of your life.

You are not leaving.
Even as the light fades quickly now,
you are arriving."

- David Whyte

Happy weekend...

Happy holiday weekend! It's a cozy gray morning, and we're on the train headed down the New England coast to Connecticut for a few days. I anticipate that there will be a lot of good eating and time well-spent with family on Easter. Before we head off, here are a few things that have moved me this week:

• Grabbing some new music inspiration from the always excellent playlists pulled together by Sarah Tolzmann of Note to Self. That March-April 15' playlist is really on point.
• Loving this essay on "The Potential in the Pregnant Pause" from On Being about how breaking free from habituation can open the door to transformation.
• Revisiting some classic thoughts on mindfulness from Jon Kabat-Zinn, and gearing up for a sitting at the Cambridge Zen Center later this spring.
• And finally, some words to close the week from Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh on how understanding ourselves better frees up our hearts to love others:

“ The essence of loving kindness is being able to offer happiness. You can be the sunshine for another person. You can’t offer happiness until you have it for yourself. So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself. Learn how to practice mindfulness in such a way that you can create moments of happiness and joy for your own nourishment. Then you have something to offer the other person...

...If you have enough understanding and love, then every moment — whether it’s spent making breakfast, driving the car, watering the garden, or doing anything else in your day — can be a moment of joy.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

Weekly Words: "A Living, Growing Criatura"

"Having a lover/friend who regards you as a living growing criatura, being, just as much as the tree from the ground, or a ficus in the house, or a rose garden out in the side yard... having a lover and friends who look at you as a true living breathing entity, one that is human but made of very fine and moist and magical things as well... a lover and friends who support the criatura in you... these are the people you are looking for.

They will be the friends of your soul for life. Mindful choosing of friends and lovers, not to mention teachers, is critical to remaining conscious, remaining intuitive, remaining in charge of the fiery light that sees and knows."

- Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Tapping into Magical Thinking

Yesterday, I found myself full of Sunday night nerves and the kind of feelings that can arise when you're preparing for a big week. I felt some self-doubt, and found myself focusing too hard on what I couldn't control. I struggled to find myself in the present and needed a reminder to stop and be here, right now.

And, as if on cue, there it was - a line from Rumi that found it's way to me, and resonated so deeply it was though the universe itself had spoken. It seemed a little bit magical that something had landed in my lap, just when I needed it most.

“Live life as though everything was rigged in your favor. ”

— Rumi

Many of us work hard to cope with life. We struggle with feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, or fear. We feel victimized by circumstance and, quite frequently, get too caught up in the reality of life. When this happens, we open up the floor for negative, catastrophic, and irrational thinking, and get stuck in the stories we tell ourselves and the frameworks that we build to govern our lives. As a result, we forget about the simple fact that we are miraculous bundles of cells and energy - and we lose a little touch with the magic and mystery of life.

Carl Sagan famously said that "we are made of star stuff." Oliver Sacks poignantly shared that the thrill of humanity is in being "a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet." And, as Mary Oliver noted, "truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous to be understood." Within all of these words lies the reminder that in this vast and amazing world, we are more full of possibility and answers than we think. We are free to create our own realities - and a change of perspective is all that we need to re-frame our challenges into opportunities.

“Let me keep my distance, always, from those
who think they have the answers.

Let me keep company always with those who say
”Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
and bow their heads.”

— Mary Oliver

So what if we could shift our negative thinking to something more magical? What if, instead of asking ourselves "how could that work?" we inquire "what if that worked?" or "if time and money were no issue, what would this look like for me?" Harvard psychology professor Daniel M. Wegner suggests that "for people who are generally uncertain of their own abilities, or slow to act because of feelings of inadequacy, this kind of thinking can be an antidote, a needed activator." He notes that "this feeling that your thoughts can somehow control things can be a needed feeling." 

After reading Rumi's words, I took a step back, and almost instantaneously felt a shift in my consciousness. I had spent the morning lazing in bed for a few extra hours. I had experienced an empowering workout that reminded me how capable the human body is. I had enjoyed a beautiful afternoon filled with sunshine. The world wasn't conspiring against me; It was supporting me in invisible and mysterious ways. Instead of feeling fear of consequence, I felt peace.  And suddenly, I was back in the present.

You see, the thing about believing in magic is that it opens up the doors for possibility. And when you are aware of possibilities, you generate the positive energy needed to move forward, past any of the roadblocks you face. Now tell me, what's more empowering than that?