On Love, Unions, and Adventure

We are now a little less than three weeks out from our wedding day, and while everything people told us about the final days has been a bit true, I continue to try and stay as grounded and present to the experience as possible. 

And so, in honor of our love (in this exact moment in time), our union (in bringing together our families and spirits to celebrate), and the adventure (that we're about to embark on in our honeymoon and in life), I am stepping away until late next month. A few of my favorite thoughts and words on partnership, love, and unity are below. Have a great month, and see you on the other side!

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”

— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“Along with the differences that abide in each of us, there is also in each of us the maverick, the darling stubborn one who won’t listen, who insists, who chooses preference or the spirited guess over yardsticks or even history. I suspect this maverick is somewhat what the soul is, or at least that the soul lives close by and companionably with its agitating and inquiring force. And of course all of it, the differences and the maverick uprisings, are part of the richness of life. If you are too much like myself, what shall I learn of you, or you of me? I bring home sassafras leaves and M. looks and admires. She tells me how it feels to float in the air above the town and the harbor, and my world is sweetened by her description of those blue miles. The touch of our separate excitements is another of the gifts of our life together.”

— Mary Oliver

“An honorable human relationship — that is, one in which two people have the right to use the word “love” — is a process, delicate, violent, often terrifying to both persons involved, a process of refining the truths they can tell each other.

It is important to do this because it breaks down human self-delusion and isolation.

It is important to do this because in doing so we do justice to our own complexity.

It is important to do this because we can count on so few people to go that hard way with us.”

— Adrienne Rich

“Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.”

— Louis de Bernieres

Happy weekend...

Happy Friday, friends! I'm looking forward to crossing about ten things off of our wedding planning checklist this weekend, and downshifting after a quiet, yet busy week.  More on that next week. Here are a few things I've been loving this week:

• Grooving to Mac Demarco's new album, "Another One," which plays like a hazy lazy summer day.
• Paring down my beauty routine to the basics these days. The other night we hosted a dinner party, and I pulled my hair back, mixed this fragrant facial oil, this delicious balm, and a bold lipstick and felt utterly radiant. Talk about a summer glow.
• Beginning to pack for our  honeymoon and still loving this Italian honeymoon travelogue in the NYTimes. There's something that it captures about that whimsical still-drunk-on-love in the early days of marriage feeling that I love reading about. 
• And finally, a quick few lines from Mary Oliver (as always) to take us out for Friday:

"As long as you're dancing, you can
Break the rules.
Sometimes breaking the rules is just
Extending the rules.

Sometimes there are no rules."

Cashew Cream of Broccoli Soup and a Love Letter

One of the most important love languages in our relationship is food, and it contains a sacred lexicon that dictates the kitchen dance performed nightly in our kitchen. 

The countertop my fiance and I share is a space of conscious co-creativity - a haven where the desire to eat simple, beautiful and delicious food that heals and fuels your body is revered, and there's always a table for two. This started when we moved in together, and our collective cooking game was instantly maximized as we began to build the lifestyle we desired - a long-lasting partnership focused on health, awareness, love and growth. But it was taken to a whole new level when I began to learn about just how much he appreciated and desired home-cooked rocket fuel, and how kitchen sorcery could fulfill important pillars in both of our lives.

Now I'm sure you've heard the archaic adage about the quickest way to a man's heart being through his stomach.  But chances are, this probably wasn't referring to a dish of cruciferous vegetables as capable of bringing a man to his knees. The truth is, it's not tenderloins or pies that really stops my man in his tracks.

It's broccoli. 

I'm pretty sure that his love of broccoli, and all members of the family Brassicaceae began after learning about it's health-touting and cancer-fighting benefits during a very brief vegan stint. But whenever it started, it then moved fast. This is a man who will eat a plate of raw greens for breakfast or use broccoli as a general garnish just to make sure he gets his daily dose.  A man who creates powerpoint presentations and shares them with his family to let them know just how important these vegetables really are. And a man who then receives a head of broccoli on every trip to visit relatives, and proceeds to share it with others because he wants them to experience the health benefits too. 

So nothing excites me more than when he comes home and I've whipped up some double or triple cruciferous delight. Without fail, he walks in the door, makes himself a bowl and stops short - blown away by the "crucif topped crucif" presented before him. This cashew cream of broccoli soup was no different, and between the creamy base and the garnish that holds all the good flavors of late summer, I think we've found a new recipe in the cookbook of our love. 

I always tell friends that while it might be nerdy, it sure beats being with someone who is addicted to sugar or booze.  Whether it's brussels sprouts or cauliflower, bok choy or kale, these vegetables have an lasting place on our table and in his heart.  While there might just be less sulfur-rich vegetables that are a bit more romantic to the eye, to him, this type of thing is the epitome of love. And for this, good health, and the life that we're building together, I'm always happy to oblige.

Cashew Cream of Broccoli Soup

For the soup:

• 1 large onion, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• ½ tsp. Celtic sea salt
• 4 cups low-sodium vegetable broth
• 2 cups filtered water
• 2 small to medium heads of broccoli, chopped
• ½ cup nutritional yeast
• 1 cup basil leaves, chopped
• 3 teaspoons lemon juice
   

For cashew cream:

• 2 cups raw cashews
• ½ cup water
• Good pinch of Celtic sea salt
• 1 clove garlic
• 2 teaspoons lemon juice

For garnish:

• 2 ears of sweet corn, cut off cob
• 1 English cucumber
• 2 teaspoons lemon juice
• ½ cup broccoli, finely diced
• ¼ cup basil, chopped
• 2 cups of cooked millet, quinoa or other grain (optional)

Directions:

1.  Bring a few cups of water to a boil, and set the cashews in a large jar. Pour water over cashews and set aside for 1-2 hours. Drain and rinse. 
2. If including millet or quinoa, set it on the stove to slow cook while you finish the other parts of the soup.
3. In a large pot, heat several glugs of olive oil and add onions until softened, but not burnt - about 5-8 minutes. Add garlic and a hefty pinch of sea salt and cook for a few more minutes until vegetables are sweat out.
4. Add the vegetable broth and filtered water, and bring to a boil.
5. Lower to medium heat and add the broccoli florets, cooking for 3-5 minutes, or until broccoli is al dente. Remove from heat.
6. Make the cashew cream by the drained cashews and other ingredients in a blender, and mixing. You can add a little more lemon juice for a creamy consistency as needed. Cream should be whipped and smooth. Take half of the cashew cream out of the blender and set aside. 
7. In batches, add the contents of the pot to the blender, add the basil, nutritional yeast, and lemon juice, and mix until smooth.
8. Add soup back to the pot and simmer for another 15-20 minutes on low heat, and season with sea salt to desired taste.
9. For the garnish, roast the corn (topped with sea salt and olive oil) on parchment in the over at 375 degrees for 15-20 minutes. Chop the basil, broccoli, and dice the cucumber while it's cooking. Remove corn from the oven, and let cool.
10. Mix cucumber, basil, corn, broccoli, sea salt and lemon juice in a separate bowl.
11. To serve, ladle soup into bowls. Add a heaping spoonful of millet or quinoa, a 1/4 cup of the cucumber, corn and broccoli garnish, a drizzle of cashew cream, and a few basil leaves. 

Weekly Words: "Collaborators in love"

"Love is a many-splendored thing. This classic saying is apt, not only because love can emerge from the shoots of any other positive emotion you experience, be it amusement, serenity, or gratitude, but also because of your many viable collaborators in love, ranging from our sister to your soul mate, your newborn to your neighbor, even someone you’ve never met before...

At the level of positivity resonance, micro-moments of love are virtually identical regardless of whether they bloom between you and a stranger or you and a soul mate; between you and an infant or you and your lifelong best friend. The clearest difference between the love you feel with intimates and the love you feel with anyone with whom you share a connection is its sheer frequency. Spending more total moments together increases your chances to feast on micro-moments of positivity resonance. These micro-moments change you."

- Barbara Fredrickson

Weekly Words: Discovering the True Wonder of You

"What may be is always potential for discovery. It's never too late. This knowledge should give man his greatest challenge - the pursuit of self - his own personal Odessey; discovering his rooms and putting them in order. It should challenge him not only to be a good person, a loving person, a feeling person, an intelligent person, but the best, most loving, feeling, intelligent person he is capable of. His search is not in competition with anyone else's. He becomes his own personal challenge.

Loving yourself involves the discovery of the true wonder of you; not only the present you, but the many possibilities of you. It involves the continual realization that you are unique, like no other person in the world, that life is, or should be, the discovery, the development and the sharing of this uniqueness. The process is not always easy, for one is bound to find those who will feel threatened by a changing, growing you. But it will always  be exciting, always be fresh and like all things new and changing, never be dull. The trip into oneself is the grandest, most enjoyable and longest lasting. The fare is cheap; it merely involves continual experiencing, evaluating, educating, trying out new behavior. Only you can be the final judge in determining what is right for you."

- Leo Buscaglia

Weekly Words: "The Journey"

"Above the mountains
the geese turn into
the light again

Painting their
black silhouettes
on an open sky.

Sometimes everything
has to be
inscribed across
the heavens

so you can find
the one line
already written
inside you.

Sometimes it takes
a great sky
to find that

first, bright
and indescribable
wedge of freedom
in your own heart.

Sometimes with
the bones of the black
sticks left when the fire
has gone out

someone has written
something new
in the ashes of your life.

You are not leaving.
Even as the light fades quickly now,
you are arriving."

- David Whyte

Weekly Words: "A Living, Growing Criatura"

"Having a lover/friend who regards you as a living growing criatura, being, just as much as the tree from the ground, or a ficus in the house, or a rose garden out in the side yard... having a lover and friends who look at you as a true living breathing entity, one that is human but made of very fine and moist and magical things as well... a lover and friends who support the criatura in you... these are the people you are looking for.

They will be the friends of your soul for life. Mindful choosing of friends and lovers, not to mention teachers, is critical to remaining conscious, remaining intuitive, remaining in charge of the fiery light that sees and knows."

- Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Weekly Words: "Love: What Life is All About"

"Most of us never learn to love at all. We play at love, imitate lovers, treat love as a game. Is it any wonder so many of us are dying of loneliness, feel anxious and unfulfilled, even in seemingly close relationships, and are always looking elsewhere for something more which we feel must certainly be there? “Is that all there is?” the song asks.

There is something else. It’s simply this — the limitless potential of love within each person eager to be recognized, waiting to be developed, learning to grow.

It’s never too late to learn anything for which you have a potential. If you want to learn to love, then you must start the process of finding out what it is, what qualities make up a loving person and how these are developed. Each person has the potential for love. But potential is never realized without work. This does not mean pain. Love, especially, is learned best in wonder, in joy, in peace, in living."

- Leo F. Buscaglia