Weekly Words: "An Observation"

"True gardeners cannot bear a glove
Between the sure touch and the tender root,
Must let their hands grow knotted as they move
With a rough sensitivity about
Under the earth, between the rock and shoot,
Never to bruise or wound the hidden fruit.
And so I watched my mother's hands grow scarred,
She who could heal the wounded plant or friend
With the same vulnerable yet rigorous love;
I minded once to see her beauty gnarled,
But now her truth is given me to live,
As I learn for myself we must be hard
To move among the tender with an open hand,
And to stay sensitive up to the end
Pay with some toughness for a gentle world."

- May Sarton

Weekly Words: "Collaborators in love"

"Love is a many-splendored thing. This classic saying is apt, not only because love can emerge from the shoots of any other positive emotion you experience, be it amusement, serenity, or gratitude, but also because of your many viable collaborators in love, ranging from our sister to your soul mate, your newborn to your neighbor, even someone you’ve never met before...

At the level of positivity resonance, micro-moments of love are virtually identical regardless of whether they bloom between you and a stranger or you and a soul mate; between you and an infant or you and your lifelong best friend. The clearest difference between the love you feel with intimates and the love you feel with anyone with whom you share a connection is its sheer frequency. Spending more total moments together increases your chances to feast on micro-moments of positivity resonance. These micro-moments change you."

- Barbara Fredrickson

Steel Cut Oats with Grilled Stone Fruit & Banana Cashew Cream

I've always been a big believer in the phrase "everything in moderation." So in our home, we don't really limit our diets to one category.  On the average night, however, you can finds us whipping up a vegetarian or vegan meal because they tend to be easy and make our bodies feel vibrant and healthy. We still enjoy our weekly libations, and the occasional summer barbecue fare. But through exploration, and the elimination diet, we try to bring a sense of consciousness to the way we eat in order to make ourselves operate well. 

One of the most interesting parts of our cooking journey as a couple has been exploring the realm of just how much you can do with good produce, hearty grains, and a little bit of seasoning. This weekend's Sunday brunch was a great example of that exact kitchen manifesto: a warm bowl of steel cut oats topped with grilled stone fruits and banana cashew cream.

I first wandered into the world of steel cut oats a few years ago when my parents began making them regularly, and my father reported the emergence of his abs, which seemed as good a reason as any to add it to the repertoire. They take a little bit longer than your average oat to cook, but that's because they're more whole and less processed, meaning they tend to keep you satiated for a longer period of time. This is a trade-off I'm willing to make. 

Slow cooking oats gives you time to come up with a whole slew of delicious toppings. Because it's stone fruit season, I chose to sprinkle apricots and plums with Celtic sea salt and grill them up alongside fresh figs on my cast iron skillet, which renders the flesh succulent and decadent. I then whipped up a batch of cashew cream mixed with bananas, which is so painfully easy that the end result leaves you wondering why you don't always have a jar full of this stuff handy. 

The end result is a comforting and nutritious bowl, drizzled with flaxseed oil and sprinkled with hemp seeds for an extra Omega boost. It was a great way to plant-power a day spent at the beach, and kept us nice and full until an al fresco lobster roll beckoned in the late afternoon.

Steel Cut Oats with Grilled Stone Fruit & Banana Cashew Cream

(Serves two, generously)

1 cup steel cut oats

1 cup raw cashews

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 teaspoon maple syrup 

1/4 cup filtered water

1 teaspoon sea salt (we use Celtic sea salt)

1/2 banana

Seasonal fruit (I chose apricots, plums, and figs)

Flaxseed oil

1 tablespoon hemp seeds

For cashew cream:

1. Measure 1 cup of cashews and place them in a bowl. Boil water and pour over cashews so that they're completely submerged. Let sit for 1-2 hours, covered. 
2. Drain and rinse cashews and place in food processor. Add 1/2 teaspoon sea salt, vanilla extract, maple syrup and 1/8 cup of filtered water and blend until smooth.
3.  Add more water as needed to achieve your desired consistency (I like my cashew cream on the thicker more creamy side for this dish).
4. Add banana and give one final whirl in the processor until mixture is combined and whipped.

For steel cut oats: 

1. Measure 1 cup of steel cut oats and place them in a large saucepot. Cover them with 3 cups of filtered water. 
2. Cook over low to medium heat for about 30-40 minutes, or until the water has been absorbed. Oats should be creamy, so if they appear dry, add 1/2 cup more water and cook for another 10 minutes. 

For grilled fruit: 

1. Set grill or cast iron grill pan to a low-medium heat. 
2. Halve each piece of fruit, and sprinkle with remaining sea salt. Place fruit flesh side down on grill for 3-5 minutes, and flip when grill marks have appeared. 
3. Grill for another 3-5 minutes and remove, letting fruit cool on a plate. 

To assemble bowls, add cooked oats first, top with the fruit, and scoop in cashew cream.  Drizzle with flaxseed oil, top with hemp seeds, and enjoy!

Happy weekend...

Happy Friday! It has been a very busy few weeks, and I've had so much to write about but little time to do so. Currently, we're enjoying Lake Champlain with extended family, and the air is beautiful and even a bit crisp! Here are a few things that I've loved this week:

• Listening (and meditating) to the beautiful 2009 album "East of Eden" by Taken By Trees. 
• Loving this study on how the brain benefits from walking in nature. Green spaces, for the win!
• Vibing hard with this amazing podcast on mindfulness and opening to your life, featuring scientist and zen maestro Jon Kabat-Zinn. 
• And finally, a quote from Alan Watts on learning to live, truly, in the present:

"The real reason why human life can be so utterly exasperating and frustrating is not because there are facts called death, pain, fear, or hunger. The madness of the thing is that when such facts are present, we circle, buzz, writhe, and whirl, trying to get the “I” out of the experience. We pretend that we are amoebas, and try to protect ourselves from life by splitting in two. Sanity, wholeness, and integration lie in the realization that we are not divided, that man and his present experience are one, and that no separate “I” or mind can be found.

To understand music, you must listen to it. But so long as you are thinking, “I am listening to this music,” you are not listening."

Weekly Words: "Living in the moment, and then letting go"

“The chaos in nature is quiet, latent,” she says. “A lamb’s death is quiet; so is the gradual death of a crop of flowers.” Sitting on the lawn, birds singing from the trees, she remembers that long-ago bunch of black dahlias and sighs. “People look at flowers as objects — as a decorating element, not a living thing. But sometimes the most beautiful thing is the most fleeting. The most fragrant, delicate rose — often those wilt in minutes. Flowers are about living in the moment, and then letting go.”

- "Into the Wild With Sarah Ryhanen"

Weekly Words: "Stop thinking in terms of work-life balance"

"Human beings are creatures of belonging, though they may come to that sense of belonging only through long periods of exile and loneliness. Interestingly, we belong to life as much through our sense that it is all impossible, as we do through the sense that we will accomplish everything we have set out to do. This sense of belonging and not belonging is lived out by most people through three principal dynamics: first, through relationship to other people and other living things (particularly and very personally, to one other living, breathing person in relationship or marriage); second, through work; and third, through an understanding of what it means to be themselves, discrete individuals alive and seemingly separate from everyone and everything else.

These are the three marriages, of Work, Self and Other...

...We can call these three separate commitments marriages because at their core they are usually lifelong commitments and … they involve vows made either consciously or unconsciously… To neglect any one of the three marriages is to impoverish them all, because they are not actually separate commitments but different expressions of the way each individual belongs to the world...

..We should stop thinking in terms of work-life balance. Work-life balance is a concept that has us simply lashing ourselves on the back and working too hard in each of the three commitments. In the ensuing exhaustion we ultimately give up on one or more of them to gain an easier life...

...I stop trying to work harder in each of the marriages and start to concentrate on the conversation that holds them together. Instead of asking myself what more I need to do, and killing myself and my creative powers in the process of attempting to carry it out, I ask myself: What is the courageous conversation I am not having?"

- David Whyte

Listening to Our Desires

A few years ago, a close friend was considering a big life change. She was miserable and in a funk. Her solution? Pack up her life and move a few thousand miles away.

I often think about what sets a person in motion to begin understanding what they want out of this life. For some, the trigger is a wake-up call - an experience, an event or emotion that triggers the sense of knowing that there might be another way beyond what we know. For others, it's a slow burn. A few bad relationships are like strikes to the matchbox of dissatisfaction. Regardless of the catalyst, there is one crucial thing that turns a so-called "turning point" into an action: desire.

During my years as a change management consultant, I saw a lot of companies on the verge of change. Whether they were facing a technology overhaul or responding to industry regulations, I met many stressed out, fatigued employees who were just looking to get this change going. They were ready to go through the motions and get to the other side.  For many people, their own life transitions are fraught with similar sentiments. They consider moves between cities, jobs, and relationships as an easy fix to unhappiness.

“What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire.”

— Stanley Kunitz

In a fantastic podcast with Jesuit priest James Martin, Krista Tippett explores the concept of desire as a sort of compass or calling around "your deepest identity, and as well, being called to married life, or being a lawyer, or...being a parent." Martin says that "St. Ignatius, in his classic text, "The Spiritual Exercises," talked about praying for what you desire. And also praying to understand your desires. What are your deepest desires that move you....the things that you're drawn to, the person you're called to be..."   

When we tap into our desire, and listen to what we're being called to do, it allows us to move more organically towards our purpose. So instead of just changing our location, career or partner and expecting to feel better, we actually listen to ourselves more deeply. We ask ourselves "why," and consider our truest path. This allows us to feel more energized by our changes, let go of judgement and fear and flow more freely.  

My dear friend ended up tapping into her desire, and understanding what it was that she truly wanted out of her life. It was actually not a location change, but the desire for a strong partner and new fulfilling career that aligned better with her skills and interests. In doing so, she was able to see that if she simply moved, the interpretations and beliefs that had been clouding her from seeing the truth would have also moved to the new city and manifested in a similar way. So instead she pushed forward in new directions, and allowed herself to feel her way through it. The changes eventually came in a way that felt more authentic and natural to her. 

What is it that you truly desire? What does it look like for you? 

I'd invite you to similarly explore this for yourself. Meditate on your desires for a bit. Let the engine go, and when it does, put yourself in gear and turn in the direction you want to go.

Weekly Words: "Cultivating mindfulness"

"Most of life is imaginary.

Human beings have a habit of compulsive thinking that is so pervasive that we lose sight of the fact that we are nearly always thinking. Most of what we interact with is not the world itself, but our beliefs about it, our expectations of it, and our personal interests in it.

We have a very difficult time observing something without confusing it with the thoughts we have about it, and so the bulk of what we experience in life is imaginary things. As Mark Twain said: “I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

The best treatment I’ve found? Cultivating mindfulness."

- David Cain