Happy weekend...

Happy Friday! It has been one hell of a hot summer week, and it's capped off this evening with a spectacular rare Blue Moon. Full moons are a great time to remember that life is full of cycles - in our relationships, jobs, and chapters - and having an awareness of the ebbs and flows that naturally occur can help you honor and be present to the shifting phases you experience.  I hope you stay cool and have a great weekend. Here are a few things I've been loving this week:

• Grooving to the sweet jam "What You Don't Do" from Lianne La Havas. 
• Lightening up my summer moisturizing routine because oil + sweat = grease. A few favorites include: Weleda's Wild Rose Milk, John Masters Organic Vanilla & Blood Orange Body Milk, and Farmaesthetic's Nourishing Lavender Milk. 
• Loving the appearance of stone fruit in the farmer's market. Last summer, my favorite thing to do was make grilled stone fruit open face sandwiches. Divine. 
• And finally, St. Augustine once said "You aspire to great things? Begin with little ones." Here's a poem from Mary Oliver that brings personal perspective to the notion that we should be patient in our journey to becoming who we truly want to be:

"Things take the time they take. Don't worry.

How many roads did St.Augustine follow before he became St. Augustine?"

Weekly Words: "Time really stops"

"We call ourselves homo sapien sapiens. That's the species name we've given ourselves. And that means from the Latin sapere, which means "to taste" or "to know." The species that knows and knows that it knows. So that means really awareness and meta-awareness. And it would be nice if that were actually true, but I think it's a little premature to call ourselves that. And now maybe we need to live ourselves into owning that name by cultivating awareness and awareness of awareness itself and let that be in some sense the guide as to what we're going to invest in, how we're going to make decisions about where we live, where we're going to send our kids to school, how we're going to be at the dinner table. Whether we're going to take our bodies and our children and our parents for granted or whether we're going to live life as if it really mattered moment by moment.

And that's not some kind of prescription for more stuff that you need to do in order to be happy. This is getting out of your own way long enough to realize that you already have the potential for tremendous well-being and happiness right here, right now. Nothing else has to change.

One thing it does is it really slows down time. When you're in the present moment, time really stops."

- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Weekly Words: "Stop thinking in terms of work-life balance"

"Human beings are creatures of belonging, though they may come to that sense of belonging only through long periods of exile and loneliness. Interestingly, we belong to life as much through our sense that it is all impossible, as we do through the sense that we will accomplish everything we have set out to do. This sense of belonging and not belonging is lived out by most people through three principal dynamics: first, through relationship to other people and other living things (particularly and very personally, to one other living, breathing person in relationship or marriage); second, through work; and third, through an understanding of what it means to be themselves, discrete individuals alive and seemingly separate from everyone and everything else.

These are the three marriages, of Work, Self and Other...

...We can call these three separate commitments marriages because at their core they are usually lifelong commitments and … they involve vows made either consciously or unconsciously… To neglect any one of the three marriages is to impoverish them all, because they are not actually separate commitments but different expressions of the way each individual belongs to the world...

..We should stop thinking in terms of work-life balance. Work-life balance is a concept that has us simply lashing ourselves on the back and working too hard in each of the three commitments. In the ensuing exhaustion we ultimately give up on one or more of them to gain an easier life...

...I stop trying to work harder in each of the marriages and start to concentrate on the conversation that holds them together. Instead of asking myself what more I need to do, and killing myself and my creative powers in the process of attempting to carry it out, I ask myself: What is the courageous conversation I am not having?"

- David Whyte

Listening to Our Desires

A few years ago, a close friend was considering a big life change. She was miserable and in a funk. Her solution? Pack up her life and move a few thousand miles away.

I often think about what sets a person in motion to begin understanding what they want out of this life. For some, the trigger is a wake-up call - an experience, an event or emotion that triggers the sense of knowing that there might be another way beyond what we know. For others, it's a slow burn. A few bad relationships are like strikes to the matchbox of dissatisfaction. Regardless of the catalyst, there is one crucial thing that turns a so-called "turning point" into an action: desire.

During my years as a change management consultant, I saw a lot of companies on the verge of change. Whether they were facing a technology overhaul or responding to industry regulations, I met many stressed out, fatigued employees who were just looking to get this change going. They were ready to go through the motions and get to the other side.  For many people, their own life transitions are fraught with similar sentiments. They consider moves between cities, jobs, and relationships as an easy fix to unhappiness.

“What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire.”

— Stanley Kunitz

In a fantastic podcast with Jesuit priest James Martin, Krista Tippett explores the concept of desire as a sort of compass or calling around "your deepest identity, and as well, being called to married life, or being a lawyer, or...being a parent." Martin says that "St. Ignatius, in his classic text, "The Spiritual Exercises," talked about praying for what you desire. And also praying to understand your desires. What are your deepest desires that move you....the things that you're drawn to, the person you're called to be..."   

When we tap into our desire, and listen to what we're being called to do, it allows us to move more organically towards our purpose. So instead of just changing our location, career or partner and expecting to feel better, we actually listen to ourselves more deeply. We ask ourselves "why," and consider our truest path. This allows us to feel more energized by our changes, let go of judgement and fear and flow more freely.  

My dear friend ended up tapping into her desire, and understanding what it was that she truly wanted out of her life. It was actually not a location change, but the desire for a strong partner and new fulfilling career that aligned better with her skills and interests. In doing so, she was able to see that if she simply moved, the interpretations and beliefs that had been clouding her from seeing the truth would have also moved to the new city and manifested in a similar way. So instead she pushed forward in new directions, and allowed herself to feel her way through it. The changes eventually came in a way that felt more authentic and natural to her. 

What is it that you truly desire? What does it look like for you? 

I'd invite you to similarly explore this for yourself. Meditate on your desires for a bit. Let the engine go, and when it does, put yourself in gear and turn in the direction you want to go.

Weekly Words: "Cultivating mindfulness"

"Most of life is imaginary.

Human beings have a habit of compulsive thinking that is so pervasive that we lose sight of the fact that we are nearly always thinking. Most of what we interact with is not the world itself, but our beliefs about it, our expectations of it, and our personal interests in it.

We have a very difficult time observing something without confusing it with the thoughts we have about it, and so the bulk of what we experience in life is imaginary things. As Mark Twain said: “I’ve been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”

The best treatment I’ve found? Cultivating mindfulness."

- David Cain

Weekly Words: "Capable of Becoming"

"I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element.  It is my personal approach that creates the climate.  It is my daily mood that makes the weather.  I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous.  I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration.  I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal.  In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person humanized or de-humanized.  If we treat people as they are, we make them worse.  If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming."

-Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Happy weekend...

Happy Friday! It has been a wonderful and busy week. I'm really excited about this weekend, as I'll be spending it in the next intensive weekend for my coaching certification. 

• Listening to an awesome podcast on meditation, ritual, and celebrating and practicing gratitude from Rich Roll, featuring tea and Zen master Wude. Thanks to the lovely M. for sharing this! 
• Reading the insightful book WomanCode, which is a great guide for helping women understand just how their bodies work...and how to navigate and manage hormonal changes, cycles, and health.  
• And finally, a gorgeous quote from a post by Sharon Salzberg on "The Challenges of Seeing Meditation Only Through a Scientific Lens" where she explores the effects of meditation on the mind, but also on our souls:

"We need to remember to look at our lives for signs — to consider how we are with our partners, our children, our colleagues at work, or even with strangers. Even more importantly, we need to look at how we speak to ourselves when we have made a mistake: do we blame ourselves, or recognize our capacity for resilience, our ongoing ability to begin again."

Finding Time for Peace

Our days, by nature, are busy. Many of us spend our weeks, months, and years moving and grooving at work, with our families, at events, or in transit. The joys of juggling can be a blessing, akin to the adage that too much business is better than having no business at all. But amidst such movement, it becomes very easy to forget the most basic of tasks on our to-do lists, let alone remember to just breathe.

Recently, something that I've continued to work on in my own life is making the time and space for these moments of peace - a stretch of time where I can hit the pause button and bring myself to the present - clearing my mind, and relishing in a few good mindful breaths before pressing play again on the day. Through experience, I've learned about the power in having a little pause in thinking (aka planning, pondering, worrying, or listening to my own inner critic tell me her opinion) and how it has really helped me use my brain more effectively when I need to again. I'm more mindful about how I create plans and work towards goals. I also sleep better, worry less, and breath a bit easier. 

While in theory, making this space to move into the "now" is technically a meditation, the time and place might not resemble what many might view as the stereotypical act. And within that lies the beauty of it all. 

Building a routine meditation is a personal and individual act. For some, meditation may appear to take place in the classic Zen sitting style - seated lotus position, rear lifted and eyes at a soft gaze for a length of time. But for many people, incorporating that type of practice into their lives is neither practical nor desirable, and may not even be the best way to connect with the present at all. If this is something that has deterred you from exploring meditation, I'd invite you to consider that the many ways to incorporate these spaces of peace and mindfulness into your life, and even begin to schedule it into your day. 

Over the past year, through a joyful, challenging, and at times, really freaking frustrating, play with meditation, mantras, and mudras, I've learned about the many methods of making space within my mind. I've shared this with friends, praising the wonders of deep belly breathing and quiet serenity I've discovered during some seriously stressful times. With practice, I've learned what works best for me (a series of deep belly breaths, a simple body scan, and a mantra or two) and how to expand or shorten my practice given the availability of time. I've learned to be gentle on myself as I work to explore meditation, and to remind myself that time and space is a gift that can be found anywhere and anytime. 

The good news is, however you choose to incorporate meditative moments, the benefits remain. Read more about the different types of meditation via The Chopra Center, the Institute for Noetic Sciences, and Gaiam. For more on the benefits of meditation, check out Emma Seppälä's "20 Scientific Reasons to Start Meditating Today."