Simple Techniques for Peaceful Relaxation

I am a historically terrible sleeper. For this, I blame years of being afraid of the dark as a child. Exhausted, but perennially terrified that the monsters would get me, I'd lock my bedroom door, turn on all the lights, and read every book in my library until the sun came up. My mother, however, says that it's because every night throughout her pregnancy, my father would come home from work and talk to me at night. It was no surprise that I was born at eleven o'clock at night.

“The phrase ‘going to sleep’ has always given me great anxiety. I don’t like doing things I’m bad at, and I have been told since I was very young that I am a bad sleeper. As soon as I become prone, my head will begin to unpack.”

— Amy Poehler

Chances are, you've had a few brushes with sleeplessness too. In Stephanie Silberman's fantastic book, The Insomnia Workbook: A Comprehensive Guide to Getting the Sleep You Need, she quotes the National Sleep Foundation's 2007 poll in which "approximately 67% of women reported having a sleep problem at least a few nights per week within the past month with 46% indicating a sleep problem every night or almost every night." Understanding a bit about our physical and mental chemistry, it's no wonder many of us struggle to get the rest we need.

Over the years, I've worked hard to conquer occasional bouts of insomnia. I've tried natural and herbal remedies, like Valerian root and Bedtime Teas, and have turned to more allopathic medicine in dire times of need. But when daytime stress level increase, the sleep demons return, rendering most of these tools useless and not sustainable for the long run.

What is effective, however, is ensuring that I maintain proper sleep hygiene (which is a whole post within itself) and keep a rotation of relaxation techniques in my arsenal. While true sleep problems may require professional help and a more comprehensive approach, below are a few tried-and-true tricks that I turn to in an effort to encourage the sweet slumber we all love and need.

Simple Techniques for Peaceful Relaxation

Guided Imagery

Guided visualizations are amazing at bringing focus to the sensory elements to help you relax. A new favorite scene, "The Mountain" from The Insomnia Workbook, is shared here, and can be performed in a dimly lit room, while in a comfortable position, before bedtime.

Another approach is to use a recorded visualization to help you fall asleep. For this, Belleruth Naparstek's Healthful Journeys: A Meditation to Help You With Helpful Sleep is the by far best that I've found. When first used over four years ago, the restfulness was instantaneous, and I couldn't even remember falling asleep (which is pretty much the goal!).

Meditation

Meditation is amazing for educing daytime stress, encouraging overall centering, and bringing the self to the present. My favorite meditation is Metta bhavana (Loving-Kindness Meditation), which is a Buddhist practice of unconditional compassion that has been shown effective at reducing pain and producing a positive sense of well-being. I also prefer to perform this before bedtime, but it's very effective any time of the day.

Mantras

Mantras are sacred utterances - simple words and phrases that when repeated can bring peace and focus. Like counting sheep, but with words, these one-liners are extremely effective either before or while trying to fall asleep. For beginners, try repeating the sleep mantra:

Om Agasthi Shahina (Ōm Ah-gah´-stee Shah-ee´-nah)

If you find yourself distracted, bring your mind back to the words by focusing the pronunciation and repetition.

For a more guided experience, try a recorded mantra journey, like that of Deva Premal and Mitten and notice how it changes your evening routine over time.

Focused Breathing

Deep belly breathing is amazing at calming an anxious soul. It slows down your heart rate by stimulating your vagus nerve, and gets oxygen flowing to spaces created when we engage in shallow nervous breaths. To do so, bring your attention to your breathing and notice the parts of your body that rise and fall. Place one hand on your belly, and another on your chest and focus on inhaling until your stomach is expanded. After a few breaths this way, then focus on letting any extra air fill up your chest and lungs after your belly is full. Practice this for several minutes.

Once you've conquered the belly breath, change your focus to breath timing. The most effective count of relaxation breathing that I've experienced is 4-7-8. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds and exhale for 8 long seconds. Repeat for at least five minutes and notice how much more relaxed you feel.

Mango and Golden Beet Smoothie

Last night, we returned from five glorious days off in Florida. It was a much needed break from a recent busy period and the epic winter we've been having here in Boston, and a great place to celebrate my love's thirtieth trip around the sun.  But there was one thing that was missing from our trip south: the sun.

Gloomy skies aside, we had a wonderful visit filled with quiet island adventures, meditative walks on the beach and some good vacation indulgence. We also had the pleasure of devouring delicious citrus in their natural locale. And now that I'm back, I'm craving more of those fruits and a return to my weekly health routine. 

This mango and golden beet smoothie is a variation on what typically makes up my daily breakfast: a blended mix of fruit and vegetables, nourishing powders and a mixture of seeds.

Beets are a wonderful detoxifying food, and in conjunction with mango, are filled with antioxidant-loaded carotenoids to help support eye health. Maca is a hormone-balancing root vegetable native to Peru and known to help boost fertility and control adrenal activity. These ingredients are combined with orange, raw sprouted protein, my hemp, chia, and flaxseed mix and immunity-boosting bee pollen to provide the right kind of sunny energy needed on a winter morning.

Mango and Golden Beet Smoothie

1 small banana, sliced

1/2 naval orange, peeled

1 small golden beet, peeled and diced

1/2 a mango, cubed

1 packet of raw protein powder (I prefer this kind)

1 tablespoon Maca powder

1 tsp hemp seed

1 tsp chia seed

1 tsp flaxseed

1 tsp bee pollen

Combine first six ingredients in blender, and top with water or preferred nut milk and 3-4 ice cubes. Blend until combined. Add in hemp, chia, flaxseed and bee pollen and pulse until combined. Drink immediately, or if storing, reserve seed and bee pollen mixture until serving, as they will absorb much of the liquid and thicken the smoothie.

Shedding Winter Skin

In four short days, we're trading our wool sweaters and boots for some sand and sea. And while I'm thrilled for a break from the snow, I truly can't wait to feel a little sun on my skin. Before I do this, however, some targeted exfoliation is in order.

On a weekly basis, there are three tools that I use to boost circulation, encourage cell turnover and slough off dead skin:

• A washcloth
• A good body brush
• May Lindstrom's "Clean Dirt" cleansing clay

On a daily basis, I cleanse my face with a variety of oils, and use a warm washcloth to gently remove before patting dry. Before showering, I also spend a few minutes dry brushing my entire body, in a circular motion and always upwards towards the heart, which helps remove dead skin cells and stimulate circulation. 

Several times a week, I also use May Lindstrom's "Clean Dirt" as part of my scrub routine. This divine product is a dry powder of clays, herbs, and spices which foams up when mixed with a few drops of water. Once combined, I paint onto my face and neck, let sit for an invigorating minute or two, and then gently massage for another two to three minutes before rinsing with warm water.

As you've likely noticed, I'm extremely passionate about my personal self-care rituals. I love researching, purchasing small-batch or single ingredient products, and combining to formulate my own potions. That being said, when I discover a company with values and ingredients that I can get truly get behind, I'm all in. May Lindstrom's line falls into this camp, and I've been equally impressed and obsessed with her line since discovering it last year. A true alchemist and artist, May's products were formulated through her own kitchen experimentation, and contain a wonderful mix of wild-crafted, organic, and consciously harvested ingredients.

While these are all elements that I support, what I love most about this line is that it encourages and celebrates the type of personal rituals that encourage overall wellness. I'm a firm believer in the magical power of feeling like you are taking good care of yourself, as mindful self-maintenance can better encourage overall health and self-esteem. Simple techniques like self-massage and aromatherapy lift your mood, lower cortisol levels, and promote good health and immunity. Combine them with a gentle scrub, and you've got yourself fresh skin and a nice routine.

For more on dry brushing, read more here. For May Lindstrom, click here.

Nourishing Winter Facial Steam

I love pampering.

The rituals of wellness are something that I inherited from my mother, a beautiful woman well-versed in the craft of holistic self-maintenance. Growing up, the casual mention of "needing to take care of myself," was a line I heard frequently, and began adopting myself as I got older.  Today, I generally use this phrase when life gets a little bit crazy, when I need to de-stress, or even as I'm looking to find balance before approaching a new week.

As a teenager, I was fortunate to be treated to the occasional facial, and in turn, experimented with many of the techniques I experienced at home. Steaming was one of these tactics, and as I've gotten older, have learned to appreciate as a great weekly delight, even if it's just done while boiling water for morning coffee. As a side bonus, it does one hell of a job clearing stuffed winter noses too.

Steaming, when performed periodically, is divine for boosting circulation, breaking up any dirt or debris in your pores, and plumping up your skin. The glow it imparts is nearly instantaneous, and when combined with nourishing and relaxing herbs, the relaxation experience is magnified.

Below is a recipe that I've used to bring a little warmth and love to my cold winter skin. It combines lavender and lemongrass, which are both awesomely antimicrobial and antibacterial, Vitamin C-packed dried rose hips, and chamomile, which soothes irritation and delivers calming vibes. After steaming, follow with a gentle facial massage for an extra-pampering boost.

Nourishing Winter Facial Steam

2 parts dried chamomile

1 part dried rose hips

1.5 parts dried lavender

1 part dried lemongrass

2-3 drops sweet orange essential oil

Combine the first four ingredients in a glass jar, and store in a cool place for use. When ready to steam, place a heaping handful of the mixed herbs into a pot and fill with several inches of water and 2-3 drops of sweet orange oil. Bring to a boil, and remove from heat. Drape a towel over your head, and allow the steam to fill the space for 5-7 minutes, inhaling deeply and taking cool air breaks as needed. When complete, rinse face with cold water and finish with a facial mask and/or facial massage.

Note: As with everything, steam in moderation, as overdoing it can damage and age skin. Also, steaming on extremely active acne can also have the opposite effect, so avoid during major breakouts.

Happy Weekend...

It has been an overwhelming and exciting week, and we've made it through to Friday. The past few days have been a reminder that it's those times that both challenge and reward you that highlight our amazing ability to find balance in life. I'm looking forward to a staycation in a chic hotel, some good pampering, and starting to digest soul-nourishing writing in anticipation of the coaching certification that I kick-off one month from today!

Here are a few things that have been getting me through the past few days.... and wishing you a weekend full of any sort of love you choose to feel - mutual love, self-love,  life love and beyond:

• Playing José González's gorgeous new album, Vestiges and Claws, on loop.
• Watching the fascinating "A Year in Burgundy," which follows winemakers in the Burgundy region of France and the cultural differences in how they produce their wines. The documentary is available on Netflix.
• Finishing my sixth week of a popular online workout guide that has been totally transformational. I haven't seen such an evolution in my body's shape and tone since college, and I'm extremely impressed.
• And finally, a quote from Conscious Loving, a fantastic guide on creating co-committed and creative relationships that has me utterly transfixed:

“The most creative and evolved people we know are those who use every situation as an opportunity to learn about themselves. Openness to learning is a hallmark of evolution. It makes learning and acknowledging even the most soul-shaking facts about yourself easier and more fun. With a strong commitment to inquiring into yourself, the universe does not have to use catastrophes to wake you up. ”

— Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks

Passionfruit Jalapeño Margaritas

I find that when it's cold and wet out, for some reason, my cravings turn hot.

I long for spice, tangy juices and for something that makes me think "am I on tropical getaway in the middle of February?" But since we're not jetting off to a warm locale until later this month, I like to chase this vibe with food. 

In our house, a house-special meal comes with a house-special cocktail. My go-to spirit these days is tequila, and when combined with passionfruit and a little jalapeño heat,  well, this drink is definitely warming.

My suggestion? Kick off your shoes, whip up the below recipe, combine with a meal that evokes south-of-the-border sensations and turn on some easy tunes (this or this will do). One sip, and you'll be feeling that dreamy summer breeze in no time.

Passionfruit Jalapeño Margarita

1.5 ounces Reposado tequila

1 passionfruit, pulp scooped out

1/8 cup lemon juice

1/8 cup lime juice

1/2 jalapeño, seeds in or scraped (depending on your preference for heat)

Combine passionfruit pulp, lemon juice and lime juice in blender, and mix until combined. Pour through a strainer to catch any seeds. Pour back into blender and add in jalapeño and pulse several times. Fill a glass with ice, pour in passionfruit jalapeño mixture, pour over a shot of tequila, stir and top with a wedge of lime.

Lavender and Tea Tree Oil Spot Treatment

I've dealt with hormonal skin issues for most of my life. As a teenager, I spent a fair amount of time in a dermatologist's chair, being poked, prodded and prescribed both topical and internal magic pills. In turn, I also grew up with a mother who loved to pamper herself, and I learned how important it was to treat your skin gently and well.

These two aspects always seemed at odds with me. On one hand, my skin felt like it was being burned off by chemical treatments that never seemed to work, and on the other, I learned the luscious wonder of facial massage and how to generate a very good glow.

As I've aged, my skin woes have improved slightly, but I still battle unpredictable spots, breakouts and other cystic acne troubles that have led me to spend a fair amount of time experimenting to find the right balancing treatment. While I've found that many forms of hormonal and cystic acne must be evaluated on an internal basis, how you take care of your skin still really does matter.

I've moved to a very simple and holistic skincare routine overall, but when dealing with a particularly bothersome blemish, it's time to bring in nature's big guns: Tea Tree and Lavender.

Tea Tree oil is one of the most effective antibacterial and antiviral oils. It can be used to treat many external ailments and I'm constantly amazed by it's purifying capabilities. Lavender has wonderful adaptogenic and similar antibacterial and anti-fungal properties, and is a terrific cleansing and soothing essential oil.  Below is a recipe for a spot treatment that combines the two with an aloe vera and jojoba oil carrier combination to help heal and protect your skin. 

Lavender and Tea Tree Oil Spot Treatment

1 oz. jojoba oil

1 teaspoon aloe vera gel

7 drops tea tree essential oil

5 drops lavender essential oil

1 sterile glass dropper or roller-ball vial

Combine jojoba oil, aloe vera gel and essential oils in a sterile vial. Shake well to combine, and before each use. To use, apply directly on blemish on freshly washed skin, twice a day.

Note: Before using any essential oils on your skin, it's best to perform a patch test for sensitivity and potential allergic reactions. To do so, dab 1-2 small drops of the essential oil on your inner elbow when dry. If no reaction occurs within 24 hours, the oil is safe for skin use. 

Friluftsliv

It's only January.

This is what people keep saying, gently reminding me that there are at least three more winter months to go in New England. I'm not a stranger to cold winters. In fact, growing up in Connecticut gave me good wintry skin against the January days that we're seeing in Boston today. But what varies now is how I interact with the cold.

As a kid, we'd play outside for hours - rain, snow or shine. In high school, if it was above fifteen degrees, we'd go for a run, bearing elements and ice. Now, when the sun rises late, and sets before five, there are days when my interaction with fresh air and daylight can be minimal. While heading to the gym can help generate an internal warmth, there's something else that can help even more - getting outside.

You've likely read stories or even experienced the concept of Friluftsliv, a Norwegian term that translates to "free air life." It's about finding a natural rhythm in natural life, and in many Scandinavian countries, it's simply part of the lifestyle that values connection to the outdoors - regardless of season or temperature.  Visit Norway explains that Friluftsliv "offers the possibility of recreation, rejuvenation and restoring balance among living things."

Spending time outdoors gives you a good overall health boost as well. It helps you take a break from the airborne germs and viruses that ramp up indoors in the winter, and can elevate your mood, self-esteem and sense of well-being. It can also benefit our long-term functional health as we age, so it shouldn't be a surprise that on the days that we walk the two miles home from work, I feel healthier, more centered and energized.

So here's a challenge: get outside for an extra twenty minutes every day next week.

Go for a winter hike. Trudge through the snow to a park and take ten good full-belly breaths of brisk air. Or, practice Frilufstliv in it's simplest form and go for a walk - at  lunchtime to get some natural light, or in the evening to walk home from work. This may be easier said than done, but it's a simple way to ensure that you get a good dose of fresh air on the days that you might otherwise not. 

See how this extra time outside in the winter improves how you feel on the inside and out, and, if you're interested, check out Charlotte Workman's documentary on Friluftsliv.